The paper analyzes dynamics of unconscious motivation of repeated suicidal attempts in the wide context of self-destructive attitudes, behavior and modern social practices of pseudo self-improvement as they are treated by psychological theories of suicide. The authors point out the role of marginal and narcissistic personality sets, self-identity and defense mechanisms as pre-dispositions of suicidal behavior, presenting phenomenology of the inner world of a suicidal subject who constructs a subjective picture of human relations, tragically devoid of love and trust, so absurdly confused that chronic suicidal attempts become not just the only escape, but also a supernatural act of triumph over both life and death.